then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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