His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My bed smells like the plague
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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