Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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