just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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