so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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