it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
