I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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