Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
