let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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