Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
