Michael Bay diarrhea
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
