I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you never un-have a 4some
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
