strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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