No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
