What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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