genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
