I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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