it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've blown a few things in my day
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize