UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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