I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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