went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
