so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
