This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
