I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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