Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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