I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
