i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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