I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
