The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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