your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
