This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
