My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
