OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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