so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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