Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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