i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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