She is in my trunk
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
