i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
