Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
