Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
