I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
