Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
