Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I will pee on everything he values.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize