Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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