I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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