whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize