You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
