You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
