when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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