I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
