how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
