My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
