life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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