its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
