Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize