Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
