i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
